It's been a really wild year, and November was no exception. I finally got my first signs of the HRT working at like 55 days in, but I had an argument with my doctor (read: he was very impatient and unsupportive of my questions and doubts) and it made me cry. I've been connecting the dots and recontextualizing my life now that I know I'm trans. Turns out I always have been! I've had some nice times with family, a cool meetup with other trans folks, and some rough times being alone.
I'm not a big Christmas person, nor birthday person, maybe because they're very close together. Some years getting or making gifts is fun, but other years it's a PITA and adds stress to what's supposed to be a fun season. I wonder if I could do some heartfelt handmade notes or something. Although that might end up taking even more time than buying gifts...
Now that I'm in touch with how dysphoria feels, it's been bothering me a lot. It feels like pain, almost the way heartbreak feels like pain despite not being a physical injury. I need to figure out how soon I can get top surgery (mastectomy), cause I think that will really help with it. There's just no good way to deal with my chest when the whole problem is the tissue itself---binders are uncomfortable and make me think about my chest all day. A good bra can actually be better, since it's more about the feel for me than appearance, considering I still read 100% girl.
Just a quick update since I haven't posted in a while, though I doubt anyone has come across this blog. I haven't even posted about it on my Mastodon account yet. I have to log into work now, but I'll be back to make more blog posts another time.
I'm not a big Christmas person, nor birthday person, maybe because they're very close together. Some years getting or making gifts is fun, but other years it's a PITA and adds stress to what's supposed to be a fun season. I wonder if I could do some heartfelt handmade notes or something. Although that might end up taking even more time than buying gifts...
Now that I'm in touch with how dysphoria feels, it's been bothering me a lot. It feels like pain, almost the way heartbreak feels like pain despite not being a physical injury. I need to figure out how soon I can get top surgery (mastectomy), cause I think that will really help with it. There's just no good way to deal with my chest when the whole problem is the tissue itself---binders are uncomfortable and make me think about my chest all day. A good bra can actually be better, since it's more about the feel for me than appearance, considering I still read 100% girl.
Just a quick update since I haven't posted in a while, though I doubt anyone has come across this blog. I haven't even posted about it on my Mastodon account yet. I have to log into work now, but I'll be back to make more blog posts another time.